Shauna

Age: 30 | US

"I'm Shauna, a 30-year-old mother to an 8-year-old boy. My wonderful partner, Dustin, and I have been together for 12 years. I started taking Celexa 7 years ago but quit this November with devastating effects.

Along with the loss of all sensation in my genitals and libido, I've lost my ability to feel all emotions – love, happiness, rage, sorrow, jealousy; it's all gone. I can't even feel love when I hold my little boy anymore. I no longer experience overwhelming affection when my fiance hugs and kisses me, and there is no excitement when he gets off work and I see his car pulling up in the driveway. It's beyond devastating.

My cognitive decline is severe, and I can barely function at times; I'm even having trouble writing this. I also have no appetite and must force myself to eat. It's as if my brain has been removed and replaced with a machine mimicking a human being. My entire identity has been stripped away in the blink of an eye.

My family is now in shambles. My son, Asher, knows I'm not well and will come up to hug me, telling me it's okay, that I'll get better. If I were capable, I'd cry myself to death. One of the most disheartening things is when I told my doctor about my condition; she told me PSSD isn't real and that I needed to stop listening to people on the internet self-diagnosing. I'm devastated.

I'm only in the beginning, and I'm dreading every day ahead of me. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's the most cruel, inhumane thing I never knew could happen to a person. This goes beyond hopelessness, beyond despair. It's unfathomable emptiness with no end in sight. It's like I've been buried alive."