Rosie

Age: 23 | Australia

“I started taking Lexapro (escitalopram) for symptoms of anxiety/depression/OCD that were exacerbated by the Covid lockdowns in Australia. I thought starting this medication would be the best decision for improving every aspect of my health, but it had the complete opposite effect.

I only took escitalopram for 4.5 months at a low dose from August to December of 2020 and did a taper to stop the medication. I have been off the medication for over 2 years now and I have not made a significant step forward in recovery of my PSSD symptoms. On the medication, I could hardly function.

I experienced sexual dysfunction, complete anhedonia, I couldn’t feel my emotions at all and couldn’t cry. I also experienced extreme DP/DR, Visual snow, Tinnitus, full body numbness, severe fatigue, lack of strength.

The medication didn’t even help my original symptoms but only made my situation much worse.

Upon quitting the medication my symptoms improved slightly but still mostly remain to this day. I still experience difficulties connecting to others and feeling emotions deeply. I experience no romantic or sexual attraction as well as genital numbness.

All these symptoms are the opposite of the person I was before taking escitalopram. The original depression I was seeking help for is nowhere near as bad as the symptoms I experience now. I feel as if I've already witnessed my own death.

I can’t have a relationship in this state, and knowing that others can experience pleasure in their life while I feel stuck behind a glass jar is torture.”